When I drew The Tower for Pisces in the August Tarotscopes earlier this month, I knew things were about to get interesting, and probably not in the way I hoped. To those who are familiar with the tarot, this is one of the most dreaded cards in the deck. While Death sounds scary but actually represents natural changes and transitions, The Tower represents violent and sudden change and the shattering of illusions. Even those who are not wise to the tarot's ways may find themselves alarmed by the dark and disturbing artwork that bedecks The Tower in most decks. (Many tarot readers who grew up reading Harry Potter also call this The Lightning Struck Tower, in reference to that particularly shocking chapter in "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"). However comfortable you are with the meanings of the various cards, it's clear that this one does not foretell sunshine and rainbows.
So it came as no surprise to me when things started falling apart. First, a nine-day dog-sitting gig that was going to bring in a decent chunk of change before my trip home to Wisconsin was cancelled. Then a week's worth of walks. Then one client ended a contract completely. All at once, my steady (if not grand) source of income seemed to be disappearing before my eyes. It's been more than a little stressful, to say the least. I like change but prefer to make it on my own terms, so unexpected shifts often take a little time for me to adjust to.
The important thing to remember about The Tower, though, is that it represents the shattering of illusions. This isn't to say that it wasn't real, but often those things were not built to last. Whenever something falls apart in spectacular fashion, it's never completely out of nowhere; whatever area of life you find crumbling around your ears has probably been imperfect for some time, whether you allowed yourself to realize that or not. In my case, dog walking has never been the end goal, and taking on permanent schedules was supposed to be a temporary situation that I would re-evaluate after my initial three-month commitment was up (so...now). In the meantime, I have learned that having such a permanent schedule is more of a hindrance to me than a help. While it's reassuring to know that I'll at least have a certain amount of money coming in per week and can book more or less walks on top of that accordingly, depending on what I need and what my schedule looks like, it has also prevented me from pursuing the very thing I quit my job to do - acting and writing. I've passed up on countless auditions because I either couldn't attend them or couldn't commit to a full day (or several days) of filming due to pre-booked walks. I've also had to pass up on day-of walks with other dogs whose owners request me at a time that conflicts with my schedule, dogs I can walk again now that I have more flexibility.
In short, as stressful as these setbacks are, they're something of a blessing in disguise, and they reveal the areas of your life that are worth sinking your attention into. When The Tower has finished falling and the dust settles, you can look around the debris and see what remains, which foundations were strong enough to survive the upheaval and what can be used to build something bigger and better than before. In many ways, it's a fresh start, albeit not one that began in the most pleasant of fashions. In fact, all my best life changes followed the destruction of something I thought I wanted that I had been clinging to for dear life. Leaving school meant finding a job that wound up bringing me some of my dearest friends. Breaking up with the person I thought I was meant to be with motivated me to leave Wisconsin and move to New York. Some of the biggest growth I've ever experienced and most drastic leaps forward have occurred because I fought my way through times of hardship, and that is the inherent lesson in The Tower: this change may be miserable, it may be painful, but it is also 100% necessary.
There are plenty of silver linings in this particular situation - my schedule has been freed up so I can attend an EPA with my best friend tomorrow that I thought I was going to have to miss; I've been motivated to push tarot readings harder in order to try and make up some of the financial difference and, with the help of some promotion from friends, I booked nine email readings and sent out two handwritten one-card readings in the last two weeks; I was able to walk one of my absolute favorite dogs three times last week, which brought me both money and a ridiculous amount of joy (I am mildly obsessed with this particular pup...). As hard as it may be to face uncertainty once again, I know it will ultimately serve me better.
Like anyone faced with The Tower's shocking message, I can either choose to sink my energy into fighting the inevitable change and exhaust myself in the process, or I can take a deep breath and leap on my own terms, doing my best to weather the metaphorical fall with grace. I know which one I'll choose - once the initial shock wore off, I was more than ready for the change. Bring on the plunge, I'll embrace it with open arms. I may not be flying, but in the words of a pair of beloved animated toys, I am falling with style.
If you would like to help me survive this transition with more ease, you can do so by purchasing a tarot reading through the "Tarot Readings" menu at the top of the page. Thank you!